Book Review: The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace

When my last try at a "wifey" kinda book failed, I was hesitant to pick this one up from my pile. So glad I did. I added The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective by Martha Peace to my list of must read books.

The book is broken down into four main parts:

Part One: A Wife's Understanding (foundational truths about God)

Part Two: A Wife's Responsibility (a wife's commitments)

Part Three: A Wife's Submission

Part Four: A Wife's Special Concerns (Emotional Challenges)

For me, the book was an easy read. The text is packed with scripture throughout and what sold me is that she used only ONE bible translation (NASB)!! She didn't pick and choose translations to make her point. She allowed the authority of God's written Word to speak truth on it's own...Amen to that!

I won't even touch on the meat of this book so really, pick up a copy and read it. I think it is a great book to give newly married women. With Submission being such a distorted concept in 2011 she illustrates and explains it perfectly in line with scripture. She talks about love, respect, submission, sex, bitterness, communication, and conflict to name a few topics.

So, just a few take-aways for me to share....

• What can I give without expecting thanks or recognition? Hmmm....this goes for all relationships. So often we look at giving from a selfish stand point. I want to work on giving without being noticed...you know how sometimes you just want someone to thank you that clean clothes keep appearing in their rooms...I need to learn to give as a mom/wife without recognition.
• An excellent wife does not respond based on mood-she is consistent. I have to say, I'm a moody bugger. I know I respond based on mood to both my husband and children. Another area to take notice of and work on.
• "Often wives presumptuously judge their husbands and react based on what they think their husbands are thinking...Instead of judging his motives, give him the benefit of the doubt and place his action in the best possible light." (pg. 190)
• "God's Word is the final authority for the practice of your life. You may in fact, be very active in your church and still not be doing what the Lord told you to do through His Word." (pg. 181) This was one of those sobering thoughts that jump off the page. I can remember seasons of being so "busy" with church that you aren't in the Word listening. In this season of life where I have stepped back from the "business" of church, I hear better and fulfill my roles better.

Those are only tiny nuggets that pulled at my heart. The meat of what a biblical wife looks like is there for you to explore on your own. I leave you with this thought from 1 Corinthians 13:

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

What area of love do you need to work on? Patience? Anger? Trust? Pride? Pick one and start working on it today by the grace of God. we can all become an Excellent Wife.

Organizing Idea

I had been looking for a way to organize all the girly hair stuff in our house. In a small house with one bathroom and 3 girls the hair supplies can get out of control. I've been using this method for the summer and it is wonderful...thought I'd share it.

On the back of our laundry room door I added a see through shoe holder. All of our combs/brushes, clips/ties, and product fit right in the pockets. I found the see through holder at Bed Bath and Beyond. I added a cheap $5 mirror on the wall and ta-da! An entirely new hair doing area completely organized!

Close up view. It's kinda crazy to look at it and realize the 18 month old has more hair stuff than the rest of us!

I'm always looking for new ways to organize in our small house. Feel free to comment and add your tips!

Book Review: Turn Up the Heat by Kevin Leman

After my last failed attempt to read a marriage book (see previous post) I grabbed for another book. Drew asked what I was reading and I answered,"Turn Up the Heat." He said something like...ohhhh. I responded, "After that last book I figured a book on sex has to be good!"

I bought this book because it was on the damaged list at Christianbook.com. Plain and simple...a cheap book to meet my free shipping limit! I like Dr. Leman and have seen him speak twice. The book was good but not great. His books, Sex Begins in the Kitchen and Sheet Music were great. This one was just ok for me.

The book is laid out in a Q&A style. He writes only a page or two and then has letters submitted with his response. I didn't find any earth shattering revelation or big ah ha moments in the book. A lot of the book covered areas of struggle in marriage and the sexual relationship...we are pretty ok in that department.

So, my take away from this book were:

• A reminder that Sex is important and needs to be a priority....no matter how tired you are or how much the kids have touched on you all day.
• Routine Sex=Happy Marriage
• Sex=less visual temptation for our husbands...let's be real. They are wired visually and this world of 2011 isn't helping them any. I sat in a wedding Saturday and if you turned your head to the left all you saw was a young woman's breast in your face...in church.
• Ladies, especially us Jesus loving ladies, need to step it up in the modesty department. Teach it to our children. Why do we see teens in church with shorts barely covering their tush?

Oh, I could get on my soapbox. The point is, the book was another great reminder of the importance of sexual intimacy in marriage. As a mom, it is so easy to put this on the back burner and use up all our time, energy, and affection on the kids but that is not what the Bible instructs us to do.

Now that I wrote this, you all know what area I am working on right now ;-)

Book Review: Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl

I tried, really I did. I heard about this book. I bought it. I started reading it. And that is when it all changed. My spirit sent up red flags from the beginning. I couldn't put it all into words but I kept coming back to hubby and sharing nuggets that left me dazed and confused. I made it 4 chapters before stopping. I quit. I never quit in the middle of a book but this one is harmful. I do not recommend it.

Since that time, I have googled the book (wish I did that first and saved my $10) and seen the controversy. I have to agree with much of what this blog states..."Created to Be His Help Meet" discussion.

I am huge on submission of wives to husbands. I am huge on finding ways to help ease my husbands load seeing I am blessed to be home. I am huge on wives respecting their husbands. I am huge on working on making your marriage glorious.

I am not huge on being a doormat, on my sole identity being in my role as a helper to my husband. What happened to being created in God's image? That is where my created purpose and identity lie, in Christ ALONE.

My other hang up with the book other than the inaccurate biblical portrayal of wives, is the language used. How does a godly women use language like "hussy and wench?"

Oh, how I could go on. The numerous letters of cheating husbands was discouraging but even more so were the responses. How we (women) have to compete for our husbands love and attention. How we should pursue a cheating husband with "aggressive intimate times" to win him over and not assume he is ours because of marriage vows is totally disturbing to me.

Ahhhh.....what a dangerous book for the new wife just looking for practical ways to be her husbands helper. Don't read the book...just go mow his lawn, take out the garbage or pack him a nice lunch....doing something loving, respect him (especially in front of others), and simply ask, how can I help you today?

Book Review: The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson

I was first "introduced" to Sally Clarkson when trying to figure out what my "method" for homeschooling was. I wasn't until I stumbled across Educating the WholeHearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson that I could put into words what I felt about homeschooling. Since then I have read two other books by Sally with the latest being, The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity.

What I like about this book is that Sally Clarkson understands the design God intended for the family. In today's culture of self, Sally expresses the need for us moms to be moms. She says how in the beginning and up to a decade or two ago, "motherhood was seen as a noble & important calling. Women considered themselves blessed to bear many children, and it was considered normal & good for home & family to be the central focus of a women's life." That is not true of today's culture. Women are looked down upon for being "just a mom." Society is pushing women to consider not having children and painting a picture of children as a burden. Some restaurants, movie theaters, and grocery stores are beginning to ban children/babies from their establishments. I believe that children are a blessing from the Lord even though society is leaning away from this truth.

In society today, many parents don't parent. Families join every activity, every sport, every chance to put their kids under the care of another. Selfishness with our time drives so many to ignore the needs of their children. This example is drastic but just yesterday this was the news, a Mom leaves kids in hot car to go tanning. Seriously? Tanning was so important that a baby sat in a hot car, alone?

I believe it is a mom's role to be with her kids. I'm not saying that working moms are bad. Everyone has a different situation and that decision is between them and God. I do however think that if possible, moms should be home with their children. The Bible shows us over & over again that the disciples were "with" Jesus. Jesus instructed them, advised them, and modeled right behavior. He included them. What he almost never did was sign them up for activities & programs. I know we have sacrificed 2 incomes, a larger home, nicer cars, big vacations (all worldly things I might add) for the privilege to be the sole influence in our children's lives. The trade off is far worth it.

Ok, I got off on a tangent. Point is, the book is a good reminder of the biblical role of motherhood. We are to have a heart for God, our Children, our Home, and Eternity. The world has a skewd perspective and the Church needs to rise to the occasion of showing what a blessing our children are and what a privilege it is to be home with them.