Some Neat Websites

In a reading a parenting book, that I will review here later, a few neat websites were listed. These sites are all political in nature to keep us informed on were our leaders stand on key issues. Thought I would share them here.

OnTheIssues.org - Candidates on the Issues

iVoteValues

THOMAS (Library of Congress)

http://www.wallbuilders.com/

With elections all around us we need to be informed and vote our values!

Blog-Worthy News

As a member of the HSLDA I receive updates by email and magazine of the legal battles that face homeschoolers. Many times the battles are not homeschool specific but issues that are jeopardizing family freedom. Today alone, there are two items to consider acting on:

HSLDA | Officials Seek to Terminate Johansson Parenthood

HSLDA has learned that Swedish officials on the Island of Gotland may be seeking to terminate the parental rights of Annie and Christer Johansson. Seven-year old Domenic Johansson was snatched by a fully armed Swedish police unit in June 2009 while on board an airplane bound for Annie’s homeland of India. Among the primary reasons given for the seizure was the fact that Domenic was homeschooled. His entire family has been denied any contact with their son for nearly a year. HSLDA and the Alliance Defense Fund (ADF) filed a joint application on behalf of the Johansson family at the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR) in June 2010 and have been working to support the family since shortly after Domenic’s seizure.

Both the ADF and HSLDA are asking for letters to be written in an attempt to renew attention to the family’s case and to encourage Swedish officials to release Domenic back to his family. The United States Supreme Court has called the termination of parental rights the family court equivalent of the death penalty. Annie and Christer have done nothing worthy of such a horrific outcome. Will you join us as fellow advocates and take a moment to write to the Swedish Social Services Committee in charge of Domenic’s custody situation? The Johansson family is grateful for your efforts on their behalf.

The link above will take you to sample letters that you can mail on behalf of this family...mine is in the mail.

The other issue at hand, and I have addressed this before, is the parents right to make decisions for their children is being taken away by the government. As a NY State resident, our policies often follow California. Well, California just signed into law a bill allowing 12 year old children to decide for themselves on the Gardisil (HPV) vaccine. Check out the link below.

California Further Erodes Parental Rights - Parentalrights.org

As a parent, I can not imagine allowing a 12 year old to make a medical decision for themselves. Beyond that issue is the issue of this vaccine being for HPV, a type of STD. Why are we promoting a STD vaccine to 12 year olds?

I encourage you to get informed and take action...all of these "little" steps lead to the same end result, the erosion of parental rights.

Book Review: The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace

When my last try at a "wifey" kinda book failed, I was hesitant to pick this one up from my pile. So glad I did. I added The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective by Martha Peace to my list of must read books.

The book is broken down into four main parts:

Part One: A Wife's Understanding (foundational truths about God)

Part Two: A Wife's Responsibility (a wife's commitments)

Part Three: A Wife's Submission

Part Four: A Wife's Special Concerns (Emotional Challenges)

For me, the book was an easy read. The text is packed with scripture throughout and what sold me is that she used only ONE bible translation (NASB)!! She didn't pick and choose translations to make her point. She allowed the authority of God's written Word to speak truth on it's own...Amen to that!

I won't even touch on the meat of this book so really, pick up a copy and read it. I think it is a great book to give newly married women. With Submission being such a distorted concept in 2011 she illustrates and explains it perfectly in line with scripture. She talks about love, respect, submission, sex, bitterness, communication, and conflict to name a few topics.

So, just a few take-aways for me to share....

• What can I give without expecting thanks or recognition? Hmmm....this goes for all relationships. So often we look at giving from a selfish stand point. I want to work on giving without being noticed...you know how sometimes you just want someone to thank you that clean clothes keep appearing in their rooms...I need to learn to give as a mom/wife without recognition.
• An excellent wife does not respond based on mood-she is consistent. I have to say, I'm a moody bugger. I know I respond based on mood to both my husband and children. Another area to take notice of and work on.
• "Often wives presumptuously judge their husbands and react based on what they think their husbands are thinking...Instead of judging his motives, give him the benefit of the doubt and place his action in the best possible light." (pg. 190)
• "God's Word is the final authority for the practice of your life. You may in fact, be very active in your church and still not be doing what the Lord told you to do through His Word." (pg. 181) This was one of those sobering thoughts that jump off the page. I can remember seasons of being so "busy" with church that you aren't in the Word listening. In this season of life where I have stepped back from the "business" of church, I hear better and fulfill my roles better.

Those are only tiny nuggets that pulled at my heart. The meat of what a biblical wife looks like is there for you to explore on your own. I leave you with this thought from 1 Corinthians 13:

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

What area of love do you need to work on? Patience? Anger? Trust? Pride? Pick one and start working on it today by the grace of God. we can all become an Excellent Wife.

Organizing Idea

I had been looking for a way to organize all the girly hair stuff in our house. In a small house with one bathroom and 3 girls the hair supplies can get out of control. I've been using this method for the summer and it is wonderful...thought I'd share it.

On the back of our laundry room door I added a see through shoe holder. All of our combs/brushes, clips/ties, and product fit right in the pockets. I found the see through holder at Bed Bath and Beyond. I added a cheap $5 mirror on the wall and ta-da! An entirely new hair doing area completely organized!

Close up view. It's kinda crazy to look at it and realize the 18 month old has more hair stuff than the rest of us!

I'm always looking for new ways to organize in our small house. Feel free to comment and add your tips!

Book Review: Turn Up the Heat by Kevin Leman

After my last failed attempt to read a marriage book (see previous post) I grabbed for another book. Drew asked what I was reading and I answered,"Turn Up the Heat." He said something like...ohhhh. I responded, "After that last book I figured a book on sex has to be good!"

I bought this book because it was on the damaged list at Christianbook.com. Plain and simple...a cheap book to meet my free shipping limit! I like Dr. Leman and have seen him speak twice. The book was good but not great. His books, Sex Begins in the Kitchen and Sheet Music were great. This one was just ok for me.

The book is laid out in a Q&A style. He writes only a page or two and then has letters submitted with his response. I didn't find any earth shattering revelation or big ah ha moments in the book. A lot of the book covered areas of struggle in marriage and the sexual relationship...we are pretty ok in that department.

So, my take away from this book were:

• A reminder that Sex is important and needs to be a priority....no matter how tired you are or how much the kids have touched on you all day.
• Routine Sex=Happy Marriage
• Sex=less visual temptation for our husbands...let's be real. They are wired visually and this world of 2011 isn't helping them any. I sat in a wedding Saturday and if you turned your head to the left all you saw was a young woman's breast in your face...in church.
• Ladies, especially us Jesus loving ladies, need to step it up in the modesty department. Teach it to our children. Why do we see teens in church with shorts barely covering their tush?

Oh, I could get on my soapbox. The point is, the book was another great reminder of the importance of sexual intimacy in marriage. As a mom, it is so easy to put this on the back burner and use up all our time, energy, and affection on the kids but that is not what the Bible instructs us to do.

Now that I wrote this, you all know what area I am working on right now ;-)

Book Review: Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl

I tried, really I did. I heard about this book. I bought it. I started reading it. And that is when it all changed. My spirit sent up red flags from the beginning. I couldn't put it all into words but I kept coming back to hubby and sharing nuggets that left me dazed and confused. I made it 4 chapters before stopping. I quit. I never quit in the middle of a book but this one is harmful. I do not recommend it.

Since that time, I have googled the book (wish I did that first and saved my $10) and seen the controversy. I have to agree with much of what this blog states..."Created to Be His Help Meet" discussion.

I am huge on submission of wives to husbands. I am huge on finding ways to help ease my husbands load seeing I am blessed to be home. I am huge on wives respecting their husbands. I am huge on working on making your marriage glorious.

I am not huge on being a doormat, on my sole identity being in my role as a helper to my husband. What happened to being created in God's image? That is where my created purpose and identity lie, in Christ ALONE.

My other hang up with the book other than the inaccurate biblical portrayal of wives, is the language used. How does a godly women use language like "hussy and wench?"

Oh, how I could go on. The numerous letters of cheating husbands was discouraging but even more so were the responses. How we (women) have to compete for our husbands love and attention. How we should pursue a cheating husband with "aggressive intimate times" to win him over and not assume he is ours because of marriage vows is totally disturbing to me.

Ahhhh.....what a dangerous book for the new wife just looking for practical ways to be her husbands helper. Don't read the book...just go mow his lawn, take out the garbage or pack him a nice lunch....doing something loving, respect him (especially in front of others), and simply ask, how can I help you today?

Book Review: The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson

I was first "introduced" to Sally Clarkson when trying to figure out what my "method" for homeschooling was. I wasn't until I stumbled across Educating the WholeHearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson that I could put into words what I felt about homeschooling. Since then I have read two other books by Sally with the latest being, The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity.

What I like about this book is that Sally Clarkson understands the design God intended for the family. In today's culture of self, Sally expresses the need for us moms to be moms. She says how in the beginning and up to a decade or two ago, "motherhood was seen as a noble & important calling. Women considered themselves blessed to bear many children, and it was considered normal & good for home & family to be the central focus of a women's life." That is not true of today's culture. Women are looked down upon for being "just a mom." Society is pushing women to consider not having children and painting a picture of children as a burden. Some restaurants, movie theaters, and grocery stores are beginning to ban children/babies from their establishments. I believe that children are a blessing from the Lord even though society is leaning away from this truth.

In society today, many parents don't parent. Families join every activity, every sport, every chance to put their kids under the care of another. Selfishness with our time drives so many to ignore the needs of their children. This example is drastic but just yesterday this was the news, a Mom leaves kids in hot car to go tanning. Seriously? Tanning was so important that a baby sat in a hot car, alone?

I believe it is a mom's role to be with her kids. I'm not saying that working moms are bad. Everyone has a different situation and that decision is between them and God. I do however think that if possible, moms should be home with their children. The Bible shows us over & over again that the disciples were "with" Jesus. Jesus instructed them, advised them, and modeled right behavior. He included them. What he almost never did was sign them up for activities & programs. I know we have sacrificed 2 incomes, a larger home, nicer cars, big vacations (all worldly things I might add) for the privilege to be the sole influence in our children's lives. The trade off is far worth it.

Ok, I got off on a tangent. Point is, the book is a good reminder of the biblical role of motherhood. We are to have a heart for God, our Children, our Home, and Eternity. The world has a skewd perspective and the Church needs to rise to the occasion of showing what a blessing our children are and what a privilege it is to be home with them.

Vote for God's Littlest Angels

Seriously, this takes 30 seconds of your time. I voted, registered and blogged this in 2 minutes flat....

God's Littlest Angels is an orphanage in Haiti that I follow by blog, pray for, and hope some day to adopt through. We know people who have adopted through them. Here is their website/blog:

God's Littlest Angels

God's Littlest Angels in Haiti

So, what's being asked?

1. Go to God’s Littlest Angels Haitian Baby Ministry :: Giving of Life

2. Vote for GLA to receive a grant

3. On the top of the web page register to receive 2 more votes

4. Return and vote again, and again

5. Spread the word by email, Facebook, or whatever method you can

Matthew 25:40
“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’

Book Review: The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan

Again the last few books I have read lead me to this one. The Rest of God: Restoring Your Soul by Restoring Sabbath by Mark Buchanan. I was not familiar with the author at all but found him to be biblically accurate. The book was different than many I have read. I have tried explaining why but can't draw on the right words. The writing is "artsy," very descriptive, very wordy. It took me a bit to get use to it and then I enjoyed his use of big words and description.

There have been several seasons in life when I have felt that we as a family need to have a Sabbath rest. This book was not a how to necessarily but a why you should and what it means kinda book. Here's my break down:

• Psalm 46:10, Exodus 20:8-9
• Sabbath is both a day and an attitude
• Sabbath is time sanctified, time betrothed, time we perceive and receive and approach differently from all other time. We are more intimate with it, more thankful for it, more protective of it and more generous with it.
• 8 of the 10 Commandments are written in the prohibitive "Thou shalt not." The Sabbath command is written in strong imperatives: remember, observe, keep, stop.
• Two things keep us from true Sabbath: busyness and legalism. (Trust me I have fallen ill to both)
• We are to embrace that which gives life, and cease that which is necessary. We need to know not just what to avoid but what to pursue.

These are just a few nuggets on Sabbath. I'm working on cultivating a Sabbath heart and attitude. As a doer I always struggle with slowing down, ignoring the to do list, and being still. This past years health issues have forced me into a more restful life and for that I am thankful.

Here are 3 quotes from the book that resonated with me:

• "My whole life I have been complaining that my work was constantly interrupted until I discovered the interruptions were my work" (Henry Nouwen)
• "We can be very busy for God and still not know Him....."
• "Without a fast it's hard to recognize a feast" (Dorothy Bass)

Since slowing down it has been so much easier to see the feast, hear God, and know the work to be done.

Book Review: The Blessing by Trent & Smalley

I finished reading Shepherding a Child's Heart and Instructing a child's heart by Tedd Tripp which lead me to pick up this book, The Blessing by John Trent & Gary Smalley. When the same theme is presented over and over to me, I take that as the Lord's Sacred Echo and pursue that topic.

The concept of The Blessing is providing our children (could be spouse/friends as well) with genuine acceptance and love.

• 5 parts of the Blessing:
• Meaningful Touch: Kissing, hugging, laying on of hands
• A Spoken Message: Verbal, silence communicates confusion
• Attaching High Value on the One being Blessed: Honor, bless, respect
• Picturing a Special Future for the One being Blessed: Affirming the traits they have God will use in the future (ie. my oldest likes to/wants to cook, teach, organize, protect and work with animals = I share how all of those things are a part of my job as a mom and how God will use those as she is a mom/wife)
• An Active Commitment to Fulfill the Blessing: doing everything possible to help the one being blessed be successful

What I liked about the book is that each element is covered thoroughly. The real life stories hit you to the core. The authors discuss those who missed the blessing of their parents like many hurting people today have. The end of the book gives a list of 100 ways CHILDREN said their parents blessed them (oh so much simpler than we think). Also, scripture blessings are written out and are so powerful to pray over your children (check out Psalm 1).

I recommend the book and found it Biblically accurate. A lot of the material wasn't new to me but a great refresher. For me personally, I was reminded of the need to watch my tongue. It can be used to build up or tear down. To be intentional about speaking words of blessing to my kids and husband. All of us have (at least) one area of the five elements of the Blessing that we can work on. What's yours?

Go to theblessing.com to sign up for The Blessing Challenge.