Hitting the Wall

After months of battling what to do with the anxiety attacks and depression and trying to do what we felt the Lord was saying, I hit the wall. Three weeks ago on Sunday I was standing in church for worship and felt NOTHING. Not a thing. I couldn't even pretend to sing the songs. I was completely done and at the end of my rope. I walked out of service crying knowing that something had to give. An intuitive friend saw me walk out and she accompanied me, listened to me and prayed for me.

It was after this that we decided that we had tried natural methods...they weren't working enough. We prayed, we fasted, we went to the Elders for prayer...we did every spiritual thing we knew to do. I don't doubt the Lord told me not to use medication back like I said on 8/25. I think I had to hit bottom to realize medication was the next step.

So, I am 2.5 weeks into medication. I am horribly tired and have lost 12 pounds. I have an annoying ring in my ears but I am pressing on. Everyday gets a little better. My main issue is the anxiety. I ended up at the dr's last week in a panic attack that wouldn't stop. They did an EKG again..glad my ticker is still healthy.

Everyday seems to get a little better. Today was the first day I didn't take a nap. We have been back to homeschooling this week and I can manage the laundry, dishes, ect. Forget showering and going out but hey, baby steps.

The Lord has asked me to walk this openly so I am. I have so much pride over this so I am trying really hard to be open. I've also learned that no one talks about anxiety and depression but it is EVERYWHERE! If I can make one person feel like they are not alone, the walk is worth it.