Monday, December 13, 2010

Role Models

I don't write this to judge or condemn anyone just as food for thought.

As parents it is our job to "train up our child(ren) in the way they should go." We are to model Jesus to them and have relationships with others that will model Jesus to them. My question is, Why do we as parents allow role models into our children's lives that do not point to Jesus?

This conversation came up with my husband and I as he read the news article on Fox and saw the video about Miley Cyrus. Clearly she has made her share of mistakes from topless photos to pole dancing on tv. But this video of her smoking from a glass bong just adds more fuel to why she is NOT a good role model for kids. My husband and I were saddened for her and for all the parents out there buying Hannah Montana merchandise for their kids this Christmas.

We believe that what children watch on tv, or the toys they play with, or people they hang around will indeed dictate who they look up to. I wonder if parents are paying attention to what the role models in their children's lives are up to. I'm curious for people to weigh in on if they think this is a big deal. I do. I know we pulled a movie from our daughter when the main star went into rehab. We talked about her poor choices and how that is not someone to look up to. I'm not saying I have this all figured out. Often times we get comments on how much we keep from our kids. We are told you have to let them watch _____ or listen to _____ or else they won't fit in. Last time I checked, we are not to "conform to this world but be transformed by the renewing of our minds."

Thoughts?

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

My Obsession

Totally irrelevant to what I normally blog about but...I am obsessed right now with Rachael Ray's Cran-Apple-Onion Open Faced Turkey Sammies!

While feeding the baby the other day I turned on the tv to see if anything was worth gazing at. Racheal Ray was on (which I normally don't watch) but she was cooking up these thanksgiving leftover sandwiches. Abby came out of her room and wanted to know what she was cooking because it looked so good. (Abby loves to cook). We watched and decided to try the recipe that night with our leftover turkey. Daddy wasn't home so it was a good night to experiment. We both loved them. I have made them 3 times in the last 2 weeks. So, seeing I love them so much I thought I would post the recipe.

Rachael Ray's Official Website :: Cran-Apple-Onion Open-Face Turkey Sammies

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Have you told Him lately?

I gave my husband this song the other day. He has been my rock during the ups and downs of my depression and anxiety. It so fits our life right now. There are good days and bad days. There are days I doubt getting better or being back to "normal" (whatever that means).

Check it out.


I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me
Watch as the storm goes through
And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

There’s more here than what were seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
Ill be the flattered fool
and I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you.
Gave me you.

When was the last time you told your spouse how much they mean to you?
When was the last time you thanked God for them?
Find a creative way to let them know what they mean to you...we are never promised another day, maybe not even another moment. Don't waste an opportunity.

Monday, November 22, 2010

God Speaks

During this season of struggle so many people have questioned why we haven't put Abby into school. My answer was always simple...because God called us to home school. I hadn't heard anything different from Him so why change course?

I talked to some people who have home schooled despite poor health for all of their kids schooling and I talked to some who due to health put their kids into public or private school. Over the course of time I started to doubt my ability to home school, care for the baby, maintain the home and still be sane by days end. We looked into the cost of private school and in my mind I was weighing the options. All the while, I have been homeschooling and Abby is learning a ton (so am I). Some days are great and some not so much.

The clarity for me came this week. My HSLDA (Home School Legal Defense Association) magazine came and the feature article was about homeschooling from bed. I thought the article was going to be about snuggling up in bed reading, one of the benefits of being home. Instead, people shared their stories of homeschooling despite medical issues because that was God's call for them.

I am thankful that God provided clarity that this is His call for our family. Should the course change, He will change it. He continues to give me the strength I need everyday to do what needs to be done.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:4 & 5


Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Doctor Updates

I had a physical this week and the Dr. is pleased with how I am doing on the medication. I am definitely improving and am so grateful that God created doctors and medicine (even though I was so resistant).

The current battle I am facing is the fast weight loss this anxiety/depression has caused. People say things like "oh to have that problem" but they don't understand that being this underweight is causing severe fatigue, headaches, and several other issues. So, I started calorie counting today to try to eat enough to add the lost weight. If I could only eat dairy and wheat...pizza, cheese, greasy fries.... yummm. With my diet being healthier over the last year and a half, it is hard to find high calorie foods I can eat. Anyways, that is the issue right now.

I look forward to having my energy back. To not being in bed by 8pm. To be able to go out on a date with my hubby and not be exhausted....yes, those days are coming...it's just a long road to get there... but they are coming....

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Blessings in Disguise

So often the things that are good for us come in a package that we really don't want. It has been so good for me to slow down. It has been so good to take things off the calendar and just be a wife and mother to the best of my ability. My relationship with Abby has improved over the last few weeks because mom is not stressed out over the 100 things she feels she needs to do. So, while I would have preferred skipping this road of depression/anxiety or whatever we want to label it (there is some possible OCD involved as well)...the lessons are important to learn.

While some comment about not serving enough, not being involved in enough activities for Abby, ect, I wonder who gets to define "enough". When I run at the pace the world sets or even people I know that mean well, I can't handle the pressure and stress.

This is a season for me of focusing inward. In the walls of my home, in the hearts of my girls, in meeting my husbands needs, of raising up children to love and serve the Lord and His people. If this slow down didn't come by force, I don't think I would have embraced the change to be "that" mom. The one who hangs out at home in sweats a few days a week never leaving the house. Spending my days homeschooling and playing in the leaves and having picnics and cooking. Catching spiders as specimens and making salt maps of Egypt. I am enjoying being mom right now and that is a precious blessing.

When I wasn't feeling well, I couldn't read books...my focus wasn't there. Now, I can read again but it has to be something I am really interested in. I picked up a book recommended by a friend (thanks JBACG), Growing Grateful Kids by Susie Larson. I love the book so far. Here is a nugget that struck a cord with me today about being content....(yes, another issue I struggle with)...

"The sin of comparison triggers two kinds of responses from us: pride and/or despair. If we compare ourselves to someone who struggles with an issue that is a strength area for us, we will be tempted toward pride. And if we compare ourselves to someone who is strong and gifted in an area where we are messy and weak, we'll be tempted towards despair. Whenever we look to the right or to the left and compare ourselves with others, we'll perceive ourselves through a skewed lens. That's why Jesus wants us to spend most of our time looking up. He is writing a beautiful story with our lives. He doesn't want us to want someone else's story...because ours fits us perfectly. What a shame to throw a book across the room because we don't like the chapter we're living at the moment!"

This is a great lesson for me. As I step into this season of simple living, I have to not compare myself to others. I tend to do this and I tend to compare myself with women who are in seasons ahead of me. I have little ones and I have to embrace the story God has written for me and not want someone else's story.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

More Victories

Things have been going really well! I tackled another Sunday at church and did really well. I took Abby on a date Friday night to do her first horseback trail ride. I had a blast...I forgot how much I missed riding. Abby had some scares but did great. Yesterday my mil watched the kids to let me go out on my own. I went shopping for 3 hours and had no anxiety at all!

I really do think that this has been a blessing in disguise. I have really slowed down and removed all the extras from my calendar. I am enjoying the kids more and yelling way less (yep, I was the mom who said I'd never yell at my kids...).

God is faithful in restoring us...we just have to wait on His timing and His ways. The lessons you learn along the way are invaluable.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Victory

I so often see the negatives of how I am not better yet so I decided I have to start looking for the victories, big or small.

Sunday was a big victory in my book. I got up, showered, went to church (not in sweatpants!), made it through the ENTIRE service (with a sleeping baby on me), and felt a connection to the Spirit of the Living God. It felt good to be there. It was totally different than the feeling I had 3 weeks ago.

After church, Drew was so happy that I was out of the house he took us to lunch. So, not only did I go to church I went to a restaurant. Now, I will not tell a lie..I did need to take my anxiety medication to go but still, it worked and I was out and doing ok.

So, victory! For a person who loves to do things and fix things asap, this baby step process is so hard. I see a new Dr. today so I'm interested to hear what they think.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Hitting the Wall

After months of battling what to do with the anxiety attacks and depression and trying to do what we felt the Lord was saying, I hit the wall. Three weeks ago on Sunday I was standing in church for worship and felt NOTHING. Not a thing. I couldn't even pretend to sing the songs. I was completely done and at the end of my rope. I walked out of service crying knowing that something had to give. An intuitive friend saw me walk out and she accompanied me, listened to me and prayed for me.

It was after this that we decided that we had tried natural methods...they weren't working enough. We prayed, we fasted, we went to the Elders for prayer...we did every spiritual thing we knew to do. I don't doubt the Lord told me not to use medication back like I said on 8/25. I think I had to hit bottom to realize medication was the next step.

So, I am 2.5 weeks into medication. I am horribly tired and have lost 12 pounds. I have an annoying ring in my ears but I am pressing on. Everyday gets a little better. My main issue is the anxiety. I ended up at the dr's last week in a panic attack that wouldn't stop. They did an EKG again..glad my ticker is still healthy.

Everyday seems to get a little better. Today was the first day I didn't take a nap. We have been back to homeschooling this week and I can manage the laundry, dishes, ect. Forget showering and going out but hey, baby steps.

The Lord has asked me to walk this openly so I am. I have so much pride over this so I am trying really hard to be open. I've also learned that no one talks about anxiety and depression but it is EVERYWHERE! If I can make one person feel like they are not alone, the walk is worth it.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Sears...Again

I am appalled at the world we live in...especially as women. Society has objectified women and women are buying into it! I am sick at how much skin I see not only at the beach but at the grocery store.

Back in June I had posted about Sears selling posters online which contain very graphic images. As many moms pulled together, Sears pulled the posters. That was short lived. Sears has once again put pornographic posters for sale on their website. After being asked to pull the posters by many advocacy groups, Sears has not been willing to.

I am an activist by nature so boycotting Sears, KMart, and Lands End will be easy for me. I just can't support a company who makes these decisions. Just like how here on GI we will not buy gas at NOCO. They sell porn behind the counter. Ahhh, so frustrating.

If you are interested in joining the fight to remove this type of material from the Sears website, here is the action OneMillionMoms is asking for:

Rather than send an email, I think you'll want to personally contact Sears' corporate headquarters and ask President Bruce Johnson why his company continues to allow "n*de" posters on the Sears website. Let him know we will not shop at Sears, Kmart and Lands' End this Christmas Season until these images are removed from their website. Sears corporate office number is 847-286-2500. I encourage you to be firm in your request to speak with someone in President Johnson's office.

Sears has ignored this problem long enough. It is time we let them hear from us! Please, call Sears president Bruce Johnson today at 847-286-2500. Take it one step further and call your local store manager. Click here to find the number for your local Sears store.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Sifting

The book I have been reading is "The Bait of Satan" by John Bevere. The next chapter spoke to me about some of the reason behind this current trial. From the beginning I have felt a spiritual component but couldn't fully articulate what was going on. I know some of this trial is medical. My life has drastically changed. We have a new baby. We endured the stress of adoption. I am naturally a high stress kinda gal so no wonder my body is out of whack! I am learning to slow down, to say no, and to focus just on my husband and kids. That's all I can do right now...and that is ok.

While I know slowing down is a part of what I need to learn, the big spiritual picture is humility. I never thought I was an overly prideful person (isn't that pride right there?). From the beginning of this battle I was ashamed to say I was having panic attacks. I was afraid to say I feel depressed. All because of fear of what others would think. All because I care what others think of me...a little too much.

So, I sensed my pride was going to be worked on. The Lord called me to walk this publicly through blogging. The Lord has given me opportunities to tell others. Sometimes I do and sometimes I fail the test. The next chapter of this book really confirmed my feelings on pride being an issue in my life.

The title of the chapter is called, "All that can be shaken will be shaken." Here are some lines/words that jumped out at me:
"Selfish and full of pride"
"confidence was not rooted in love. Rather it was anchored in pride."
"Pride would never be strong enough to equip him to fulfill his destiny in Christ. If not removed, this pride would eventually destroy him."

These lines on pride jumped off the page. The chapter goes on to talk about Simon's sifting experience. The text says, "Pride opened the door for the enemy to come in and sift Simon Peter. The word sift in the Greek translates to mean "to sift, shake in a sieve, by inward agitation to try one's faith to the verge of overthrow." Wow.

The coolest and most comforting part of all of this is Luke 22:32 "But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you return to Me, strengthen your brethren." Jesus prayed for Simon to not lose faith while being sifted. I know my sifting, no matter the reason or origin, will produce a new character as it did for Simon and that Jesus is interceding for me to not lose faith as I walk a hard road.

The chapter goes on to say, "In these situations faith says, I trust You even though I don't understand." I don't understand why this exact road has to be walked but I trust the One who has allowed this to be a part of my journey. "No storm, no matter how intense, can ever move us. This does not come by strong will or personality. It is a gift of grace to all who place their confidence in God, throwing away the confidence of self. But to give yourself in total abandonment you must know the One who holds your life."

After reading those lines, the Lord impressed this song onto my heart....


So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll stand

With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
So I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Great Debate

During the ups and downs of figuring out who's medical opinion to go with, I really was torn over medication. One part of me wanted to flea from the idea mostly due to fear and pride. Then another part of me on a bad day wanted nothing more than a temporary fix.

I had been praying for a while about taking the medication and was waiting on an audible voice of God to direct me and it hasn't happened. Something in my spirit kept telling me to wait on the medication. We went before the Elders of our church and they prayed over Drew & I. It was an awesome experience to sit, share, not be judged, and be prayed for. I had hoped this would be the healing point or answer...still nothing.

Then the other night when I was reading a book (a book I might say I should have read weeks ago) and this sectioned jumped out at me...
"We can pester the Lord regarding something for which He has already shown us His will. He will then allow us to do what we want even when it is against His original plan- even when it is not in our best interest. Often God's plan causes us to face hurts and attitudes we don't want to face. Yet we run from the very thing that will bring strength to our lives. Refusing to deal with the offense will not free us from the problem. It will only give us temporary relief. The root of the problem remains untouched."
The book is speaking of offenses, however, this jumped out at me about taking medication or not. I felt the Lord saying, I showed you my will for YOU...I had the unsettled spirit. Don't run, stand strong, let's deal with the root. (Let me insert here that there is nothing wrong with medication for anxiety/depression. I just was not sure this was the path I was to walk. From the beginning I have felt a spiritual component to this battle, not just a medical one.)

So after this neat revelation, I started to question if I was pulling this way out of context as the book clearly has nothing to do with this topic. I sat down that night before bed to crank out another chapter and I kid you not, the chapter is on revealed word of God. The author talks about how, "when you listen to a minister or read a book, we should look for the words or phrases that explode in our spirits. This is the Word God is revealing to us."

Clear enough for me. So, right now, we walk this path using supplements until healing or the Lord changes the course. The next chapter spoke to me on this issue as well but I'll save that for another day...

Monday, August 23, 2010

Medical Update

It's been a long summer. Nothing has gone the way "we" planned...not that that should surprise me. I'm excited for the routine of fall to return though I have enjoyed having my hubby home to help all summer and be my rock as we have struggled with this anxiety issue.

Several posts ago, I gave a laundry list of issues I'm dealing with. Since then so much has happened. We decided that we needed a second opinion based on the wisdom of dear friends. The treatment plan was going to cost way more than we could afford and friends spoke truth to us that God's plan out would not produce debt when He has called us out of debt. How we all need friends to speak truth to us!

My second opinion totally disagreed with the first. My primary doctor (yes, a 3rd opinion) handed me a prescription for anxiety and depression and told me to return in a month. In the end, through much prayer, we felt lead to seek treatments through my second opinion. She is the same naturalpath who cured my migraines a year and a half ago so we have trust in her. There is nothing like sitting in a doctors office talking over your symptoms, ect for 1 hour and 45 minutes. She listens, cares, and explains fully what is happening and what we can try. Anyone who knows me knows I am not a pill taker. I prefer to cure the root not the symptom and to do so as naturally as possible.

The naturalpath believes my adrenal glands are once again tapped out due to stress (no surprise there) and that my seretonin is off causing some depression and anxiety. So, I am on my adrenal regiment again. She has added two supplements for the mood and for the anxiety. Both seem to be working well. Anxiety is still the issue in stressful or uncomfortable situations but I am getting better. I have no clue where all this came from and look forward to the day it is gone but in the mean time, the Lord is showing me so much of my character that He needs to refine.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Beautiful, Beautiful

So much has been going on lately, medically and spiritually. My girlfriend Brooke emailed me to tell me she heard a song in the car and the Lord brought me to her mind. She knows the Lord uses music to speak to me so she told me to listen to the song and see what the Lord had for me. We have been praying about how to proceed with my health and I was praying this song would reveal some truth for us.

Here is the song with the lyrics......


Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace

(Chorus)
Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful

Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face

(Chorus)
I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace

I listen to this song 2x's and felt the Lord ask me why it was written. Francesca wrote the song to express the grace that is to be found in each new day. How we can mess up or have a really bad day but the next day is new. It brings a hopeful feeling that a day can end bad but mercy is new every morning. On days I haven't felt good, the days end bad...i feel like a bad mom and wife but grace is new every day.

Then I went to the lyrics. There were several layers of meaning here:
1. The song starts with not knowing how God could see us as beautiful and ends with a joy inside as he makes our lives beautiful....this reminds me of the transformation process we all go through to be more like Christ. Reminds me that even though I see my flaws he loves me just as I am.

2. "Mercy reaching to save me, all that I need" is a reminder that He is Sovereign and Healer. While I need to deal with my health I need to trust Him as the healer. Though there is darkness, He can break through and He can give uncontainable joy.

3. "I have come undone, I've only just begun" reminds me that my pride is an issue and I have to be undone to be able to be more like Christ. For me, depression and anxiety in my mind was really "undone" so it is the "low" I needed to find humility.

4. "I see you through the clouds" points out that even on those dark days, I need to look up...He is still there.

5. He is making my life something beautiful....

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Results

Today I found out that my anxiety attacks may have a medical origin. I got the lab work back from the Doctor today and I am a mess! Let's see if I can paint the picture...

1. Soy Sensitivity (no more soy)
2. Auto immune response to Gluten (no more gluten)
3. No good bacteria in gut
4. Reactive Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar)
5. Severe Iron Anemia
6. Thyroid Conversion issues
7. LH, Estrone, & Testosterone all off

Wow! The side effects of just #7 are anxiety, panic attacks, depression, insomnia and headaches. I think my name was written next to that list. I am so thankful for the answers so that we can move on to the solution. I am told that treating this holistically will take about a year so I am praying for at least a marked improvement in the first 4-6 weeks.

I look forward to my energy returning and my head to stop pounding.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Past Month

This post is long overdue. I have felt the Lord asking me to boldly post what has been going on in my life for the last month yet, I have been disobedient. The last thing I want to do is "go public" but for some unknown reason I feel called to write this....

A little over a month ago in the middle of the night, I woke up to an "episode" of some sort. I had had these "episodes" twice before. Once on a plane which was said to be a response to migraine medication and once in the hospital when Essie was born. This "episode" that woke me lasted 3 hours and involved a racing heart, crazy blood pressure, nausea, dizziness, shaking, and the need to pace. After this episode, the doctor ruled out heart issues and assumed my syncope (pre-diagnosed condition) had flared up as it has some of the same symptoms.

Several nights later, another "episode" woke me. Same scenario. Off to the doctor again and this time they are using the words, anxiety attack. I said, no way. Not me. You see, I had developed some judgements in my head about panic/anxiety attacks. If I was really someone who trusted Jesus, why would anxiety be attacking me? I have 2 great kids. Our adoption dream came true. I have an awesome hubby. Not possible.

Well, the attacks grew much worse and more frequent. Night was now not the only time the attacks hit. I had them at church, at the grocery store, at friends houses, and every night at bedtime. I was having panic attacks over my fear of having an attack.

There is no obvious trigger for these and no real stresses in my life right now. However, there may be a predisposition as I researched some family history. So, why these are happening, I don't know. I do know that I have learned humility during this process. I have erased my judgements of those who suffer from these awful attacks now knowing that these can not be controlled.

I am slowly improving. We take baby steps daily! My days are pretty good with random small episodes that easily can be kicked out. My nights are worse and require much focus to be able to sleep. Everyone keeps saying it is because I turned 30...it's the number when all these imbalances kick in. Who knows. All I know is that it is the path I must walk right now and the Lord has asked me to walk it publicly. So, as much as I want to hid this chapter of my life from view, I write it so the Lord may do with it as He wills.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

New TV Show??

Here is an email I received today....

Comedy Central is currently making plans for the program "JC" portraying Jesus as a "regular guy," as oppose to the Son of God. The show depicts him moving to New York to "escape his father's enormous shadow." The Father is characterized as an apathetic dad, virtually addicted to video games and totally uninterested in his son's life.

Comedy Central is set, unless we intervene, to blaspheme two-thirds of the Trinity on a weekly basis. This mockery will be similar, but much worse than “South Park” and “Family Guy” since the entire program will be based on this lie.

Comedy Central is showing favoritism for one religion over another. Recently, Comedy Central bowed to pressure from Islamic groups and heavily censored an episode of "South Park" that showed Mohammed in a bear costume. The hypocrisy here is staggering.

Comedy Central shows more respect for Mohammed and Muslims, who represent 2% of the American population, than for Jesus Christ and the 83% of Americans who believe in Him.

We need to send a message loud and clear to Comedy Central, its owner Viacom and all potential advertisers of "JC" that this kind of insulting programming is completely unacceptable. If we speak with one voice now, we can keep this program from ever seeing the light of day.


Here is your chance to have a voice.... Sign our petition today

Friday, June 11, 2010

You have a voice

Yesterday I received an email about Sears selling pornographic posters on their website. I never made it to blogging the story but emailed some of you and asked you to take action. The action required a phone call to Sears asking them to pull the materials.

So often we think (or I think) I don't have time for a phone call, what do I say or I'm too busy to send an email. Often I think what difference can I make.

The answer is that in a few seconds of our time, we can make a world of difference.
Within 8 hours of Sears receiving phone calls from concerned moms, they removed the posters!

I have a passion for this kinda stuff. I do believe if we pull together, we can make a difference. We each have a voice. I encourage you to check back here or subscribe to this blog. I intend to post opportunities for each of us to voice our concerns over issues of the home and family.

"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:11-18

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Disney World

I received an email from a online moms group I belong to which shared some disturbing information....

As soon as school lets out at the end of May, many families will plan to take their vacations right away. Tens of thousands will make reservations in Orlando, FL for the first weekend in June. Beware! Not everyone there will be excited, innocent children anticipating a fun weekend at Disney World. The first Saturday in June, homosexuals will be at the Magic Kingdom with an agenda and purpose other than what would be expected at Disney.

Homosexuals will be celebrating the 20th anniversary of Gay Day wearing matching Gay Day merchandise, such as T-shirts. There will also be transvestites dressed in drag showing their support for the event. This event is planned with the intent to expose and desensitize children to this lifestyle by same-sex couples holding hands, hugging and kissing. In short, a Gay Day participant's main goal is to be seen versus seeing Disney World.

Exactly one month from today on June 5 unsuspecting families will witness a well-orchestrated event that Disney says they have no control over. Disney has taken no action to stop this which leaves families stunned and offended. So instead of a normal day at this popular theme park, parents will be angry at the harm this causes families.

Disney requires special events like Grad Night and Night of Joy (Christian event) to be held after regular operating hours to avoid having a large group of like-minded people in the park at the same time with regular patrons who expect a normal day at the Magic Kingdom. Why would Gay Day be any different? Why does it get special treatment? Disney has been irresponsible for far too long.


The question is, why does this group of visitors get to hold their special event during park hours when other groups can't? I personally believe part of the agenda is indeed to desensitize our children to this way of life. If this information is an issue for you, take action. Here is the link to send an email letter to the CEO of Disney World asking for this event to take place after hours. Send Your Letter Now!


Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Matthew 24 & Life Purposes

Today during my reading of a book for a group I am in, I was directed to a scripture in Matthew. Matthew 24:12 (NKJV) says,
"And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold."
I have heard this scripture quoted so many times regarding end times and the state of our society now. How lawlessness (aka sin) is so rampant in our culture today that end times must be around the corner. The eye opening portion of this scripture this morning was the fact that this verse isn't referencing the society at large at all! Jesus was speaking about the condition of the Church!

The author of this book points out that a word study of "love" reveals that in the greek Jesus was speaking of agape love. Agape love is a deep love that is given through the Spirit of God. Believers who have accepted Christ are called to love with an agape love. If you are not a believer, you do not have this type of love in you. Therefore, in this passage, Christ is referring to the agape love of believers growing cold due to the increase of sin among believers.

The author boldly states that as a Church we have placed so much emphasis on the need to pray a "sinner's prayer" and accept Jesus but we have dropped the ball in calling God's people to live a life that keeps His commands. I strongly agree with this statement.

So, the cool part for me this morning is that as I read this verse and see Jesus saying that sin will abound in our churches, I remember why He created me....
to encourage and prepare believers to stand for what is morally
right and pure and to advocate truth to them.

How cool is it to have a life purpose that matches the times I am living in. In a season of life when sometimes I feel like all I do is wash clothes, change diapers, and set the time-out timer for 6 minutes, to know that God has a distinct purpose for my life keeps me running this race.

Lord God you are sovereign. You know all things and created all things for your pleasure and glory. Thank you for the reminder that you know me and created me just as I am. May you use me to point others to you. Help me to see where I walk without purity and truth so that I may turn towards truth only. Direct my steps in this season of life to encourage and prepare believers so that lawlessness in the church may be decreased all for your glory.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Adopted for Life

It's been almost 2 months since I posted on this blog. Life has been busy with the adoption and having a baby in the house...but I wouldn't have it any other way! I just finished an awesome book that made my must read list. Adopted for Life by Russell Moore isn't a how to kinda book....it's a way we must kinda book. Thanks for the great read Jess & Kem! This post will be a rambling of some of the points of this book that have struck a cord with my spirit.

Russell Moore parallels adoption with the gospel message. Moore says, "The gospel of Jesus Christ means our families and churches ought to be at the forefront of the adoption of orphans. We all have a stake in the adoption issue, because Jesus does. He is the one who tells us that his Father is also father to the fatherless (Ps. 68:5). He is the one who insists on calling the least of these his brothers (Matt. 25:40) and who tells us that the first time we hear his voice, he will be asking us if we did the same." Wow! If we are to become more like Christ who is a reflection of his heavenly father, if we are to radiate the love of Christ to a broken world then we all have a stack in the adoption issue. "The Father adopts children, and we're called to be like him. Jesus cares for orphans, and we're being conformed into his image. If you're in Christ, YOU are called to be involved in the project somehow."

When we started thinking about adoption we were self-centered. WE wanted a baby. WE wanted a larger family. Through the 4 year wait, God taught us that adoption is a call he has placed on our family. We have love to give no matter who you are, where you come from, or what color your skin may be. The blessing in this calling is that ultimately, our hearts desire is filled with more children. I can not imagine life without Essie in our family and it has only been 7 weeks.

I love that Moore boldly took on the topic of inter-racial adoption. Being now an inter-racial family, I appreciated what he had to say. When the public looks at our family, it is obvious based on skin color that our daughter was adopted. We were warned by social workers and the like that inter-racial adoption would be challenging and as I've said in the past, it shouldn't be. Moore addresses how if "we had fewer white churches and black churches, fewer blue collar churches and white collar churches, maybe we'd see better what Jesus tells us when he says we've come into a new household with one Spirit, one Father, one Christ."

We all are created in the image of Christ so why in 2010 are we still hung up on the color of skin? And why does the world think white skin is superior? Oh, how this issue gets me. Moore addresses how people often ask if your kids are "brothers or sisters" when they have visual differences....here are my girls. And yes, they are sisters!


Monday, February 22, 2010

Gang Member or Church Member

In Forgotten God, Francis Chan talks about a former gang member who was coming to his church. He had a relationship with Jesus but had stopped attending services. When asked why, here was his response….


“When I joined the church, I thought it was going to be like joining a gang. You see, in the gangs we weren’t just nice to each other once a week—we were family.”


Ouch.


This made me think of the current state of the American church and really, this mans comments are correct.


How is it that someone can go through cancer, a miscarriage, a divorce and not feel supported by their church family?


How is it that a family has no food in their cupboard and they feel ashamed to ask for help from their church family?


Why are we not rejoicing together, suffering together, grieving together?


After reading this section of Forgotten God, hearing recent stories from friends, and having felt alienated from the church myself, my eyes are opened to what my role as a “family” member is. To love one another deeply, to carry each others burdens, to be willing to get involved in messy situations, to step out of my comfort zone and into His.


Lord, Give me eyes to see the needs of those around me. Show me the steps I need to take to me your hands and feet to them. Help me reflect you into the lives of those around me.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

A little Jesus…

Out of Forgotten God…

Our churches are filled with “people who have added Jesus to their lives. People who have ask Him to join them on their journey, to follow them wherever they feel they should go, rather than following Him as we are commanded. Jesus did not die in order to follow us. He died and rose again so that we could forget everything else and follow Him. If all you want is a little Jesus to spiritualize your life, a little extra God to keep you out of hell, you are missing out on the fullness of life you were created for.”


Amen Francis! So many of us walk around dragging “a little Jesus” around life with us. I’m preaching to myself here too. I live for Jesus and do as He leads me yet some days I don’t make time for Him and clearly tell Him He does not have the number one place in my life. Which makes me wonder how often I am missing hearing His voice and direction.


“When Jesus calls us to take up our cross, He is doing much more than calling us to endure the daily, circumstantial troubles of life. It’s a call to radical faith. Jesus is calling us to be willing to suffer anything and forsake everything for the sake of the gospel.”


At the risk of repeating myself, I so want this radical faith kinda life. I want my back turned to the desires of this world where my eyes are only focused on Jesus and the gospel. My life as a mom in this season is so about the daily grind and to some extent that is ok. My daily grind is teaching the gospel to my children but so often it really is about dishes, laundry, and the next meal on the table.


Lord Jesus, you love me so much that you endured the cross. You know my Martha nature, fix my eyes upon you so that the things of this world will grow dim and my focus is on you and your people.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Spirit of God

Fracis Chan has some seriously good stuff to say. After reading Crazy Love and agreeing with much of what he had to say, I tackled Forgotten God. I haven't read two books back to back so fast in a long time!

Forgotten God talks about how we have ignored the Holy Spirit. I don't think many believers would argue belief in the Spirit or the fact that as believers we are empowered by the Holy Spirit. Yet, do we really walk around as though the Spirt of the living God is literally living inside of us? Francis says, "imagine what it would be like to have Christ standing beside you in the flesh, functioning as your personal Counselor. Imagine the peace that would come from knowing you would always receive perfect truth and flawless direction from Him. Why do we assume that this would be any better than the literal presence of the Holy Spirit?" Now there is food for thought. Though I know I believe in the Spirits dwelling in me and have evidenced the Spirit at work in my life, I have not internalized the idea that Christ is literally in me.

From there Francis talked about quenching the Spirit; a topic I have discussed before with many people. Seeing I have issues with what other people think about me, Francis put it into perspective for me..."We think about making our friends mad or not being accepted or being thought of as different or strange. But rarely do we consider whether our actions or lifestyle are grievous to the Spirit of the living God." I had never seen my care for others opinions as trumping my care of God's opinion but in this text, I see how off base I am in my ways.

So, though I never would have considered myself a Spirit quencher, I am. Are you?

Spirit of the living God, I long to live a life that is fully yours. Do your work in me so that I may be a temple of your Spirit that brings you glory and honor. Empty me of all of me so that I can be filled with you.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Crazy Love & the church

I just finished reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. My church gave out copies for everyone to read...of course I had bought a copy a few weeks before the great give away but that is how it goes.

Different parts of this book struck a cord with me. I've posted before about conformity and my issues with looking like the world. When I read this from Francis, I was saddened.... "...the American church is a difficult place to fit in if you want to live out New Testament Christianity. The goals of American Christianity are often a nice marriage, children who don't swear, and good church attendance. Taking the words of Christ literally and seriously are rarely considered." I was saddened because I couldn't have agreed more. The one group of people who should strive for the best often settle for much less. I think we as believers are going to be suprised with how far off the mark we are living. I long to hear the words, "well done my good and faithful servant" but I'm not sure that by the way I live now, I will hear that. I live a morally upright life compared to many but God is not comparing our lives to one anothers....He is judging if we lived as He has called us to live.

The Church
So many people turn to the church to "learn" how to be a Chrisitian...I'm not saying that is how it should be but I believe that it is a reality. The church at large is not equipping people to be sold out followers of Christ. From my perspective, the church is teaching people to be lukewarm. The model of accept Christ, come to church on Sunday, worship with half of your heart, put on your Sunday happy face and act like you have it all together because Christians have a great life with Jesus model is not only not working but a disgrace to God.

God wants all of us. Every part. He wants us to worship Him with all that we have and are. He wants us to give joyfully. Love sacrificially. Put others before ourselves.

In the book, Francis talks about what people who are obsessed with Jesus look like. I'm dying to see this lived out before me! I want to be that person who can live a totally obsessed for Jesus sold out life and not care what friends and family think. I'm working on not caring but it goes against my humanity...but that's the point right?

So, today I choose to live a sold out life. Striving to press on without caring what everyone around me thinks. Without having to justify myself and my actions.

Where are you at? Are you sold out? Do you look like a follower of Jesus or do you look like the world? What is one area of your life that the Lord is asking you to surrender so that He can make it pure? Let it go....He knows what is best for you.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Parental Rights Issue

I get emails from our homeschool legal defense association that effect homeschooling and other parental issues. Here is a snippet from an email....

S4779, a bill going before a committee of the New York Senate on Tuesday, threatens your parental rights. The bill, "[a]n act ... providing medical care to minors for sexually transmitted diseases without a parent's or guardian's consent," would allow any health care practitioner to administer an STD vaccine to your child "without the consent or knowledge of his or her parents or guardians, provided such person [your child] ... consents."

HSLDA believes that minors are best protected from unwanted consequences of any medical decision if they can have the benefit of their parents' counsel. We oppose this legislation because it removes parents from involvement in a minor child's medical care. This bill will apply to your children whether you home school them or send them to public or private school.

ACTION NEEDED:

Please call your state senator and ask him or her to oppose this bill. To obtain your New York senator's Albany office phone number, visit www.nysenate.gov/senators Tell them you believe children have a right to the counsel and support of their parents when faced with medical decisions like vaccinations.

While you are at it, consider contacting your U.S. Congressman's office and urging your Representative to cosponsor H.J. Res. 42 proposing a Parental Rights Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. Tell them you are aware of bills like New York's S4779 that crop up each year to erode parental rights, and that you want to see your rights protected permanently. To find the contact information for your U.S. Congressman, visit http://capwiz.com

I encourage you to take action. You can also email your Senator through the link provided above. I did it, will you?

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Racism..Alive & Well

I needed a safe place to process so many thoughts today. Our social worker for the adoption was here Saturday and after we finished the "official" part we just talked. She wanted, as a biracial women herself, to make sure we were not naive to some of the struggles we will face as a multi-racial family. She didn't want to scare us but arm us so that we were not surprised. I know there will be some struggles but I have not even given this thought as it doesn't matter to us.

Since the earthquake in Haiti, I have heard first hand that racism is alive and well. We were at the pool the other day and men in the locker room were talking about how you can "train monkey's better than a Haitian." I have seen posts today online that literally make me sick. People who think that Haitians should "pay America back by serving in the middle east so that they die and not Americans". People who say that "adopting a child past the age of 5 from Haiti should not be allowed as they are already diseased". As these people are making comments, they are ranking races and in their eyes, Haitians fall below African Americans.

As I read these words I am reminded of the world we live in. How can we rank people based on the color of their skin? How can we compare people to animals simply because of where they live? How can we not be willing to take in children who need a new start? I am so very sad that people, God's creation, can be devalued because of skin color.

I guess I am naive. I thought that in 2010 we were a little further along in the fight against racism. After reading comments like I read today, I am not proud to be an American...I know that is anti-American to say but if being an American means that I am associated with racism, hatred, liberalism, entitlement, and all the other "stuff" going on in America today then I do not desire to associate myself with that label.

It's days like today that I am so glad that Earth is not my home. As the days grow eviler, it is clear that I am an alien and stranger in this land. Now I just wish there were more aliens & strangers!