Have you told Him lately?

I gave my husband this song the other day. He has been my rock during the ups and downs of my depression and anxiety. It so fits our life right now. There are good days and bad days. There are days I doubt getting better or being back to "normal" (whatever that means).

Check it out.

I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me
Watch as the storm goes through
And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

There’s more here than what were seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
Ill be the flattered fool
and I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you.
Gave me you.

When was the last time you told your spouse how much they mean to you?

When was the last time you thanked God for them?

Find a creative way to let them know what they mean to you...we are never promised another day, maybe not even another moment. Don't waste an opportunity.

God Speaks

During this season of struggle so many people have questioned why we haven't put Abby into school. My answer was always simple...because God called us to home school. I hadn't heard anything different from Him so why change course?

I talked to some people who have home schooled despite poor health for all of their kids schooling and I talked to some who due to health put their kids into public or private school. Over the course of time I started to doubt my ability to home school, care for the baby, maintain the home and still be sane by days end. We looked into the cost of private school and in my mind I was weighing the options. All the while, I have been homeschooling and Abby is learning a ton (so am I). Some days are great and some not so much.

The clarity for me came this week. My HSLDA (Home School Legal Defense Association) magazine came and the feature article was about homeschooling from bed. I thought the article was going to be about snuggling up in bed reading, one of the benefits of being home. Instead, people shared their stories of homeschooling despite medical issues because that was God's call for them.

I am thankful that God provided clarity that this is His call for our family. Should the course change, He will change it. He continues to give me the strength I need everyday to do what needs to be done.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:4 & 5

Doctor Updates

I had a physical this week and the Dr. is pleased with how I am doing on the medication. I am definitely improving and am so grateful that God created doctors and medicine (even though I was so resistant).

The current battle I am facing is the fast weight loss this anxiety/depression has caused. People say things like "oh to have that problem" but they don't understand that being this underweight is causing severe fatigue, headaches, and several other issues. So, I started calorie counting today to try to eat enough to add the lost weight. If I could only eat dairy and wheat...pizza, cheese, greasy fries.... yummm. With my diet being healthier over the last year and a half, it is hard to find high calorie foods I can eat. Anyways, that is the issue right now.

I look forward to having my energy back. To not being in bed by 8pm. To be able to go out on a date with my hubby and not be exhausted....yes, those days are coming...it's just a long road to get there... but they are coming....